The Joy In My Pain
by Bella M. Cullen04
Summary: Bella, Bella! Wake up Bella! We have to go, someones in the house and they have guns." Billy whispered. I still remember that moment very clearly,even if I was only five years of age. My journey is difficult, but I would be happy to share it with you...
1. preface

**A/N: This is another story I am writing. Don't worry it won't interfere with 'All Because I Tried It'. I will still write it... promise!!!! *crossing my heart* Well I hope you like it. I am having a hard time figuring out a title name for it, so vote in my poll, so I can see what your ideas are. That is why I put quotation marks around it because I don't know yet.**

**So please help me out. I am begging you!!!!! *groveling on my knees* Ha, ha, ha!! I will only give you the preface- and the summery if you want to count that- so you will have to tell me which one you like better!! (My sister actually wrote the first sentence....**

Preface

**BPOV:**

"Bella, my love. What are you doing behind the fridge!?" Edward asked, while peaking around the corner of the fridge.

"Edward! Help! They're after me!" I sobbed, cringing against the wall. With one quick movement, Edward pushed the fridge out of the way and cradled me against his chest. His breathing was quick. Worried.

"Bella, shh, I'm right here. Don't worry everything is going to be all right. Shh, I'll protect you," he comforted, rocking me back and forth. Calming.

**A/N: So there you go! If you think you want to know what happens to Bella, Review. If you want to know who is after her, Review. If you want to know how she met Edward, Review. AND if you have any more questions you want answered, REVIEW. Don't worry I WILL update 'All Because I Tried It' as soon as I can. AND...**


	2. Chapter One: The Beginning

**A/N: Sorry for the long break in the story writing process, but I have a lot of stuff on my mind. I have actually had to rewrite this chapter about half a dozen times but I think that I actually got this one right. So without further ado.......**

**BPOV:**

It all started, when I was five years old. I was living with my uncle Billy and cousin Jake. I slept upstairs, a room all to myself.

-Flashback-

"Bella, Bella! Wake up Bella!" Billy called through my dream. it was horrible. I could hear everything perfectly, but I couldn't open my eyes. **(A/N: Have you ever had one of those dreams where you are there, but you can't see anything??) **"We have to go, someone's in the house and they have guns," he cursed. I felt two strong hands pick me up and cradle me against their body. We turned the corner, out of my room, headed down the hall, and started to decline down the stairs.

Billy was furious. "If you two don't get out of my house, I will blast your brains out the first chance I get!!" he blared into the silent house.

I heard two pairs of footsteps ascend the stairway. They brushed up against my arms as they grabbed Billy's shoulders and threw him down the stairs. I hit the floor with an earsplitting scream.

"Hurry! Grab he before anyone hears!" one of them barked. I felt two cold rock hard hands clamp tightly around my mouth. Screaming was useless now that there was a barrier between me and anyone hearing, so I swallowed the rest of it and listened.

"What do I do with-?" the other one asked. I imagined him jerking his head in Billy's direction, since his hands were occupied. If I opened my eyes mow it would be too dark to see anything anyway so I kept them shut and continued to listen.

"Just leave him. I don't think he has enough strength to catch us with two broken legs," he chuckled.

My eyes where still tightly shut, to hid the pain, but somehow the tears managed to find their way out. The two hands freed my face and instead found their way to my body. They lifted me up and carried me out of the house.

The cold air punched my face and gave me whiplash. It had an unwanted musty scent to it. My first instinct was to puke but I held it back and buried my face deep into his shirt. The smell wasn't really any better but at least it was familiar. He smelled like Jacob. My lovely Jacob. **(A/N: Don't get worried they are cousins. And remember she is only five.) **His smell was unforgettable. One whiff of him and you turned into a dog. You could track him anywhere and definitely be able to find him.

He was definitely a little on the ripe side though. Hasn't showered in a couple of days at least. But also sweet. Like fruity almost. Watermelon or Strawberry. He must have been around some girls.

I took another deep breath and could almost smell a hint of alcohol. The girls must have been in a bar and he must have gotten drunk or something I thought. We finally slowed to a stop and my shoulder brushed up against a cool hard surface. Our mode of transportation, obviously.

They slid the door open and set me inside. Then I heard two doors slam simultaneously. With a roar the engine came to life and they backed out of my driveway. The driveway I might never see again.

-End of Flashback-

Ever since then I have been living with the two freak-o's that kidnapped me. I haven't left them because I haven't had enough courage to do so, and no where to go for that matter.

Well my seventeenth birthday is coming soon, and I think I am actually going to do it. I am going to finally leave them.

**(A/N: So... What do you think? Was it worth the wait? I wish I could have updated sooner, but summer's been hectic... I don't know if I will be able to update for a while either. I found out recently that they have blocked fan fiction at school... yes I know it is very sad and they are very dumb!!!! I will try to update as soon as possible.... promise... R&R)**


	3. Chapter Two: Big Day

A/N: Look I am finally updating!!!!!! woo!!! ya!!!! Mom finally let me on the computer. I hope this chapter is good as well and I hope ya'll like it. Let's get this party started!

BPOV:

**"Hey wake up!" One of them shouted while shaking me awake.**

**I was in the middle of the nightmare that had brought me to this dump hole in the first place.**

**"Stop shaking her! You might damage her little body!" The other one barked back. This clearly started an argument between them.**

**I laid in the bed thinking of a plan to escape, while slowly easing out of unconsciousness. I was right. I can't do it. I don't know how to survive out in the cruel world by myself. No matter how much I hated them, they are the only family I have. They are like brothers to me.**

**Their arguing kept going and it eventually woke me up.**

**"Guys," they immediately stopped arguing. "Stop fighting. I told you to call me Jane." I wasn't dumb enough to have them know my real name, so I made one up. (A/N: I wanted a common name that everyone would know... *wink, wink*)**

"Sorry," they said together.

"You know what, that's alright. I forgive you," guess I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. They smiled at me then they each took a turn hugging me and whispering 'Happy Birthday' in my ear.

It was silent while we stared at each other. It was an awkward moment so I interrupted it.

"So," I paused. "What are we going to do today?" I asked.

The light was finally shining through the one window, and I could now tell who was speaking.

"I dunno," Felix said. "What ever, I guess."

"Mmm..." Demetri drug out the word like it was a question. Then after a short moment he continued, "I was planning on getting some more food, later, I might need help though, so Felix might have to come with me."

I nodded, "Sounds fun."

"We can trust you, right, Jane?" Felix questioned. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. If not I would blow my cover, but my made up name was just to funny.

I could tell that Felix was suspicious when I answered. "Guys, I have been with you since I was five and you still don't trust me?"

"It's not that we don't trust you, it's that we-"

"Don't trust me," I realized that I had made a big mistake when I interrupted Felix. "I get it."

"No Jane, that's not it. It's just that we are very protective over you," Demetri replied in his normal sinister voice.

I just sat there and didn't answer.

"Jane," Felix touched my arm and I brushed him away.

"Don't touch me," I growled. Bad idea.

"Don't you ever do that again!" Demetri grabbed me by the shoulders and spun my body around to face him. Avoiding his gaze I focused on a blank spot on the wall behind his head. "Look at me when I am speaking to you!!" He raised his hand, to the level of my cheek, and slapped me. Instinctively I wanted to raise my hand to touch my cheek, but at that current moment I couldn't. The stinging pain brought tears to my eyes.

"Demetri! Don't you're hurting her!" Felix's sweet disposition has always been my favorite.

I just sat there when Demetri finally decided to let go of me. "Well," he balked. Nothing more was said he just got up and stalked out of the room.

"Jane, are you all right?" Felix was really concerned. He got up from the chair in the corner and came to sit next to me on the bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I replied finally getting to touch my cheek. My shoulders started to hurt so I decided to rub them. Felix was smart and sweet while Demetri was strong and vicious. I've always told myself that opposites attract and in this situation I guess they do.

Felix was reaching in to give me a hug when Demetri's voice emanated in through the doorway. "Felix! If you lay but one finger on her I will pound you into a pulp, and drink you myself!!!" I don't know how he knew what Felix was doing but somehow it freaked me out! Felix froze and then returned to his normal position.

We didn't say anything for the longest time. In fact we didn't say anything at all. He just got up and left.

* * *

I could hear the pitter-patter of little rain drops dancing on the roof, and I knew that if I didn't leave now, I wouldn't leave at all.

Felix was sleeping next to me. His arm was thrown over my mid-section, and he was sleeping soundly, making muffled snoring sounds ever so often. Demetri was sprawled out on the floor. His massive figure loomed beneath the tiny blankets that barley served any purpose at all.

I sighed, then tried to wiggle out from underneath Felix. He frightened me so bad that I could hardly breath past the lump in my throat. He tossed and turned, trying to find a position comfortable enough to resume his sleep. Finally he just curled into a ball.

That made it even easier for me to escape. I grabbed the old sneakers, that were laying on the floor against the bed, and headed for the living room.

It was pitch black outside as well as inside the house. I could hardly see where I was going. I managed to remember that my jacket was on the back of the chair so I grabbed it on the way out of the house.

I shut the door as quietly as I could remembering that it squeaked three-quarters of the way from being shut. I stood on the front porch, looking out into the darkness. Wishing I could go back inside crawl under the warm covers of the bed and casually drift into a deep sleep I thought about what was coming my way. I had a bad feeling about completeing my journey but deep down inside I knew that I had to do it not only for myself but for everyone that was about to come into my life.

I just couldn't turn back now. One: because I locked the door on my way out and, two: because I'm already half way to victory and I might as well die trying in the process.

Looking forward, I took a deep breath, stepped from the porch and disappeared into the darkness.

**A/N: Well there you have it.... chapter two in my epic journey of how Bella came to be... ^^ Don't forget to look at the announcement I have posted on my profile. It might be a good thing to look at it and do what it says..... *^_^* Laterz...**


	4. Chapter Three: Long distance

**BPOV:**

It was now pouring! I was shivering so hard that I'm surprised that my face didn't fall off. But I kept walking no matter what.

I don't know how long I walked. It seemed like miles and I fell more times than I could count. I could feel the blood oozing out of my knee and hands.

I was so miserable. "I want to go home!" I sobbed taking a little break and looking up into the rain. All at once, I remembered. I had no home. No one to run to, no hot food waiting for me to devour. Not even a warm bed to snuggle up in and fall asleep. Rain ran down my face so fast that I could hardly distinguish if it was my own tears.

It was too late now. If I went back, I was dead for sure! Moving ahead was the only thing keeping me alive. Even if I was hurting, inside and out.

I could barely see the fain sign of dawn approaching. The light was coming through the trees and in the distance I could see a house.

I pressed forward, more confident now that there was a goal to reach. I just had to make it to that house no matter what happened. The distance was closing. I reached the house just as the sun was peaking over the mountains. The huge three story cabin had a five car garage and a wrap-a-round deck.

I slowly crept up to the big solid wood door, hesitant. I didn't even brush the big beauty when a pixie-like figure was standing before me, door open. I don't know how she got here so fast, let alone know I was standing here. I was dumbfounded.

She looked me up and down, and then paused when she looked at my knee. I looked at her expression. Her eyes pure black, predator like, stared back at me. I stepped back out of instinct but she followed me. Then slowly she staggered back.

"Esme, Carlisle," she grasping the frame. Two figures emerged from inside the door way. One of the figures stepped out from behind her and caught me before I fell.

"Carlisle, she's soaking wet," she said concerned. "And bleeding!" she grabbed my knee and touched the almost dry blood. She looked at the other figure in the darkness and suddenly her eyes, as well, turned black.

All in one movement she was back by the pixie-like one and a blond haired, golden eyed man took her place. I watched as they swiftly took off into the house. Then slowly I turned my head to look at him. He smiled at me and moved the sopping wet hair from my eyes. I smiled back and then passed out.

I woke up the next morning to sunlight coming through a window. I noticed that a shadowed figure was in the corner, avoiding the sunlight.

'Probably sleeping,' I thought.

I carefully took the sheets off of me and two white-almost translucent- hands were there to stop me. I looked up to see the blond haired, golden eyed man I'd seen the night I ran away. He grabbed the sheets from me and put them back over my body.

"Bella, you need to rest," he ordered.

Yes, I did need my rest but I was too hungry! Couldn't he see that? Wait a minute, I don't remember making acquaintances with this man! How in the world did he know my name?

"Wait," I was totally confused. "How do you know my name?"

He looked at me for a second then replied. "Sleep now, talk later."

Well that was dumb. How could I sleep when a total stranger knew my name! I looked away to roll my eyes and when I looked back he was no where in sight.

I sat in bed and admired my surroundings. The sheets, that covered me, were chocolate brown. The walls were an unattractive hospital white, and the carpet a cream color.

I pulled the sheets off me one more time, to attempt my escape for food. This time I wasn't stopped by the white hands that were so vividly unique. Instead I gasped at my knee. It was wrapped up loosely in a white gauze. You couldn't even see the blood anymore, it was cleaned up nicely.

I swung it over to the side of the bed to get out. Then stood up too fast and got light headed. With a dizzy spell set into place, I fell back onto the bed to get a grip on my self. This time I got up nice and easy. I put pressure on my sore leg and yelped. I covered my mouth so I wouldn't give away that I was up and moving. With a couple of deep breaths I was back to normal. Then limping forward I was curious to find what was beyond the bedroom doorway.


	5. Chapter Four: Who The Crap Are You

**A/N: Ready? (:**

I limped down the stairway whishing that I could walk just a little bit faster. My belly rumbled with an echo through the house. I froze on the third step- from the top- and admired the room I was descending into. The first think I noticed was how empty the room was. It was big and very open. Like they knocked down some walls just to get it that way. On top of that, there wasn't anybody in the house.

'Yes! No one to make me go back to bed!' I thought.

The next thing I noticed was the brightness of the room. The light coming from the wall of glass made the different shades of white glow, including the high beamed ceilings, the wood floors and the thick carpets.

I paused at the glass wall and noticed how the open lawn stretched to a wide river lined with cedars. It was gorgeous out there. I could hear the river through the silence of the house. My growling stomach interrupted my admiration and I remembered I was on a mission.

I continued to limp down the stairway and when I got to the bottom I was standing on a platform. I didn't notice until now, but the room had all sorts of different leveled platforms. My stomach growled yet again and I followed the urge towards the kitchen.

I found the kitchen in about five minutes. I tried every room in the house and finally picked the last and final door that lead to the kitchen. I opened the door and my mouth fell to the floor. The kitchen was bright and open just like the front room. The counters were solid granite, dark beautiful granite. The cabinets were solid red wood and beautiful as well. They had an island in the middle with red wood bar stools that were neatly pushed in. the floors were hard wood and also red wood. The appliances were black to match the counter tops. They had a nice solid cherry kitchen table with matching chairs that could at least seat ten people.

My stomach growled, once more, and I finally decided to eat. I headed immediately for the fridge. I opened the door and found nothing appealing. The only things in there were; a full gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, a brick of cheese and some butter. Nothing I wanted to eat, so I moved to the cupboards. I searched, and searched until I found a jar of peanut butter. Then eventually I found a spoon. I sat down on a redwood bar stool, took the lid off and stuck my spoon into the peanut butter. I took a couple of bites while I admired the rest of the room.

Where the kitchen table was, there was a wall of windows just like the front room. I saw the same things outside but at a different angle. I saw some trees shake in the distance but that's it.

I sat there, getting tired of what I was eating, but couldn't stop, because I was so hungry! Two pale hands were there to stop me from taking another bite.

"Hey! I was eating that!" I scolded the honey-blond guy standing behind me holding the peanut butter in one hand. He raised his eyebrows, as if to say 'Oh Yeah?', and then I wasn't so tense.

I stared at him trying to read his expression but it was too complicated. I gave up and stared at the spoon that had some peanut butter still left on it and stuck it in my mouth to clean it off. When I could taste the metal instead of peanut butter, I pulled the spoon out of my mouth. I turned back to see if he was still there and he wasn't. the jar of peanut butter was sitting on the counter. I grabbed for it and was stopped. This time by a beautiful blond girl. She was tall, statuesque, with a beautiful figure. Her hair was golden, with a gentle wave, that reached the middle of her back.

I blinked, so many times, to see if it was all real. She smiled at me blinding me once more by her beauty. I tried to smile back but my mouth fell open instead. She giggled and her hand touched my jaw. It was cold and hard like marble.

I wasn't only stunned by her beauty, but by how fast she got here. She was like a ghost, they were all like ghosts! One minute they were here, the next minute they're gone.

I turned toward the glass wall, to curse under my breath, turned back toward her and she was gone.

"What the hell!" I shouted a little to loud for my purpose. I put my head in my hands and started to cry because I was so frustrated.

Two strong hands began to rub my back. I looked up to see the blond haired man that told me to stay in bed. I tried to give him and apologetic smile but the tears seamed to not stop. I attempted to wipe them away, but he st0pped my hands in mid-wipe, then putting them at my sides.

"Come on Bella, you need your rest," he said while lifting me easily off the barstool.

"No!" I shouted throwing my hands of my hips. "Tell me what the hell is going on!"

He replied with a not and led me into the great white front room.

**A/N: Well I hope it was worth the wait. Sorry it has taken me so long to update, but being a Junior in High School it's kind of hard to find the time. Hopefully over the summer I will be able to find a lot more time so my readers will have something interesting to do. LOL Please leave your comments in the review box. (: **


	6. Chapter Five: Familiar Faces

**A/N: Next chapter please…. **

There were five figures lounging around the room. Three out of five were on the couch, two were on the floor. I've seen all of them at least once, except one. He was sitting on the floor with the blond girl. She was laughing and feeling his large muscles.

His features were unforgettable just like hers. He was big- defiantly a weight lifter, with dark brown hair.

As soon as I walked over to them everything went dead silent. He led me to the couch and I sat on the end away from the three that were perched there in the first place. They looked at me and then at him. It was very awkward at times and suddenly a calming sensations would overwhelm me.

The one at the other end of the couch spoke first. Her heart-shaped face and caramel colored hair were beautiful. She was small, slender, but a little more rounded than the others. She was dressed casually, in light colors to match her house. "Okay, Carlisle, what's going on?"

"Bella here," he pointed at me. "Wants an explanation."

Everyone was shocked that he said that. Their whispers filled the room in a matter of seconds. The blond girl cringed into the brawny guy and buried her face into his chest.

I looked at Carlisle who was as calm as could be. Then looked at the other faces. Their expressions were a mix between shock and horror.

"I'm okay with that," the short pixie said peaking around the honey-blond. She smiled at me, then got up to come sit by me. This time I was the one with the shock and horror expression. She merely giggled and wrapped her arms around me.

"Alice! How could you?" The beautiful blond exclaimed.

"Because, Rosalie," she stated. "I love her!"

Wow! I was not expecting that! I was dumbfounded. I tried to wiggle out of her grip but she just held me tighter.

"Alice!" I said between gasps for air. "You're crushing me!"

"Sorry," she loosened her grip to let me breath but she didn't let go.

"Well, Carlisle," the huge muscled one stated. "If it is an explanation she wants, then it is an explanation she gets."

"EMMETT!" Rosalie screeched while smacking him with the back of her hand. "I can't believe you!" she pouted, ignoring everything Emmett did to apologize, until he bent down to whisper something in her ear. She giggled, then kissed him with force.

Someone cleared their throat beside me. I looked at Carlisle. He was waiting patiently for everything to calm down, so he could give me the explanation that I have been dying to hear.

Rosalie and Emmett finally finished kissing and gave Carlisle their undivided attention. Carlisle was proud that they eventually decided to listen.

He began to speak, so I decided to listen. "Bella, there is no easy way to say this but. . . . . . . . . ."

**A/N: Dun Dun Dun! :D review. **


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